my life has become a prayer

Dearest wife and my little angels
I am still alive, it is a mystery in itself coz 5 months earlier even a fragment of such a thought would have surely convulsed me in the remotest of my dreams.
Don’t know what you perceive of my mental state or whether it even matters to you that I am still living or dead but for me you people are and will always remain everything. My little daughters mean more to me than any other thing or person or desire which an ordinary mortal can conceive in his minds vestibules. Ever since you have gone every day is like a struggle – to carry on simply living or more precisely not to die. Don’t worry because I am not a fool to adopt the easy way because I am well aware that if I exit midway with my heart and soul with unfulfilled desires of seeing my kids and wife and letting them know how much I love them and how my life was woven in the fabric of their love, I will never attain even entering the worst fires of hell leave aside nirvana.
Well it is a strange thing indeed, why you left and why you don’t even talk to me or let me even speak with the kids? Surely you must be having a very logical explanation and justification for what you have decided and must be thinking in terms of benefits for the kids but tell me one thing. Is it possible for even an animal to let go of his offspring’s, just simply forget about them, each day is like a punishment. What is there left for me to think forward to in life, for whom shall I get up in the morning and go to work, for who shall I simply live on.
Well the legal proceedings are on and I am not supposed to communicate with you and strangely the father finds himself barred from even seeing his kids or even talk to them on phone, must be a devil of a father who will eat up his kids even on telephone or curse them by looking at them . Surely I must be that hell raised devil who will bring a thousand curses on everything I call my own and surely I must be deserving all this punishment of the severest kinds. Thank you God for what you have given me.
You snatched away everything from me, everything that I called my own and everything for which I wanted to live for. But still I will carry on living till you realize the truth that I really loved you and it was only your love and affection that I desired from the core the core of my heart and my children are the most precious for me and I will do everything for them till the last breath of my life even if I am unable to speak with them I do connect with them via my constant prayers and thoughts, thoughts which will protect them, nourish them and help them to grow up as their father’s daughters. I will also pray for your well being and happiness and May god fill your life with bliss so that you transmit that bliss in our children’s lives. My prayers are also for giving you the strength to sustain your fight against what you consider as evil and I pray from my heart that you get all the spirit and strength to let you carry on this battle as a lady with whom I fell in love with and have a lot of faith in her integrity and self esteem and simply whom I have always considered as part of my own blood and flesh. And so I have a good reason to carry on living – to pray, to kneel down in front of HIS altar, to ask him to give me strength to sustain this punishment with humility, for one day the TRUTH shall WIN and my soul will revive when again I will be able to sing our favorite song to you-“look into my eyes” and on that day I will be alive again.