Last rites...flash backs in the memory

Hi muku mouli.
Today morning we went back to the burial ground for the last rituals of picking up the bone remains...as I started to identify the bones in the ash remains his hand bones were clearly visible as and I remembered those strong hands which I held so tightly when I was a kid when he taught me how to walk..then I picked up those leg bones and the artificial implant and I remembered his tall frame which was a symbol of strength to me. Whatever I am today is mostly what he taught me..I did not learn from of him business of this world and the sophisticated art of money management that his son (appu) picked up but I learnt from him the art of seeing through most complicated pictures...what lies beneath...the art of identifying the simple facts wrapped in complex algorithms. I learnt from him the sense of humor which comes as a rescue in odd times.
With him accompanying him I have attended many funerals and the last one I remembered was of your beloved mama (kutum) I was very very upset..I came back from the stage where saurav was performing the rites and sat with him..clearly remember that he said that now the soul has moved forward and entered the new plane...and asked me to be calm and pray for his next journey..the same way he consoled me at the time biji's final rites..I kept weeping profusely when we laid his quite and still body on to the funeral pyre.  And I kept weeping coz there was no one there to console me this time...muku mouli I really wish I could hold your hands and share my grief..it is a tremendous loss for me...it wish that my Tayaji's soul finds utmost peace in bakunth dhaam..

Beloved Tata (tayaji) passed away

Dearest muku mouli... I am in profound grief...not only for the immense loss of a loved one but also because there is no one with whom I can share my deepest feelings.
No one understands what he meant to me..was more than a father..he was my best friend ...he was always there when I was still struggling to become independent right from early childhood to the beginning of my professional carrier.
I loved him very much....but yet no one could understand the intensity of my attachments with him.
I managed to rescue him from his grave illness several dozens of times but still against my wishes they all shifted to gurgaon...for supposedly a better life...a bigger house...and a sophisticated neighbourhood. ...and yesterday I was not there to deal with whatever emergency occurred. ..and fate snatched him away for ever. My tears finally vented at his cremation and they are still unstoppable...I called barnali. ..but as expected she simply cut my call..then with some hope and courage I called the home landlines and I was so relieved to hear mouli's voice....I just wanted to hear your voices. ..if that is something too much to ask for being your father..
Loosing my loved ones to fate and destiny one by one....it is like witnessing your own dessimation in a slow motion...it love guts so much and I loved my tata so much...but still I could not do anything..
Tears rolling  down my eyes.... will continue my emotional outburst....here on this portal...which simply stacks up my memory pieces...